General Pershing Knew How to Handle Muslims
ARE ANY OF HIS DESCENDANTS AROUND? BLACK JACK WAS THE MAN
Strippers Pole Dancers and Golf
2009/7/2
2009/6/29
Dr. Phil Diagnoses Hillary
HILLARY IS ONE ANGRY HOGSTER
2009/6/25
Orioles Manager Tries New Strategy
"THEY'RE NOT PAYING ME ENOUGH"
2009/6/13
2009/6/3
Surgeon Convention
Five surgeons from big city hospitals were discussing who makes the best patients.
The first surgeon from New York said, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second surgeon from Chicago responded, "Yeah, but you should
try electricians. Everything inside them is color-coded."
The third surgeon from Dallas said, "No, I really think librarians are the best, because everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon from Los Angeles chimed in, "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over."
But the fifth surgeon from Washington, DC shut them all up when he said, "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. They have no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and their head and ass are interchangeable."
The first surgeon from New York said, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second surgeon from Chicago responded, "Yeah, but you should
try electricians. Everything inside them is color-coded."
The third surgeon from Dallas said, "No, I really think librarians are the best, because everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon from Los Angeles chimed in, "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over."
But the fifth surgeon from Washington, DC shut them all up when he said, "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. They have no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and their head and ass are interchangeable."
2009/5/31
Obama Team Upgrades White House Bathrooms
Definitely high tech all the way
2009/5/28
2009/5/27
Tired of Rude Drivers?
GIVE THEM ADVANCE NOTICE THAT UNCIVIL
BEHAVIOR WILL NOT BE TOLERATED
2009/5/25
Blonde Flies to Houston
THE PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO H OUSTON WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN. THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET. SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK. THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLOND, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO HOUSTON AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE SITTING IN FIRST CLASS THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT. THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT. THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO HOUSTON AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON. THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS. I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE.."
HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." SHE GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS. I TOLD HER, "FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO HOUSTON."
