Strippers Pole Dancers and Golf
2007/1/31
@ 10:37 PM (34 months, 4 days ago)
Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.) has cancelled her first planned trip to New Hampshire because of a serious illness in the family, her campaign advisers said today. "Her family" is a euphamism for the weasel herself.
Clinton -- who has not set foot in New Hampshire in more than a decade -- is expected to be hospitalized for an indeterminate amount of time.
After launching her campaign in Iowa last weekend, she had planned to swing through the early primary state this weekend, trying to fool the residents and get some much needed momentum.
Almost all of the other Democratic candidates have already campaigned in New Hampshire, and Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) is planning to wind up his announcement tour there early next month.
@ 09:55 PM (34 months, 4 days ago)
Amid reports that Iran is prepared to offer Iraq help with reconstruction and other forms of economic aid, President George W. Bush warned Iran today that any helpfulness on its part would be met with “swift retribution” from the U.S.
Speaking from the White House, Mr. Bush warned Iran not to entertain any thoughts of being helpful, vowing, “No good deed will go unpunished.”
The president also issued a stern ultimatum directly to Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, warning him against “future provocative offers of help.”
“Iran can continue down this dangerous path of helpfulness, or it can resume its role as an international pariah,” Mr. Bush said. “The choice is clear.”
The president appeared bent on isolating Iran to punish it for its threatened acts of helpfulness, even naming it to what he called “The Axis of Constructiveness.”
In Tehran, President Ahmadinejad seemed almost emboldened by Mr. Bush’s remarks, even taunting the U.S. president with threats of his own: “Iran will continue to be as helpful as it wants to be, and no one can make us stop.”
On Capitol Hill, congressional leaders worried that Mr. Bush’s options for reining in Iran’s recklessly constructive behavior may be limited.
“President Bush might like to threaten Iran with military action if they persist in being helpful,” said Sen. Joseph Biden (D-Del). “But with the U.S. military stretched thin in Iraq, Iran probably feels that it can be helpful with impunity.”
@ 08:58 PM (34 months, 4 days ago)
Best-selling author and columnist Molly Ivins, the sharp-witted liberal and bitch finally died Wednesday after a long battle with breast cancer. She was 62. That is 62 too many years as far as I am concerned
Ivins died at her home while in hospice care, said David Pasztor, managing editor of the Texas Observer, where Ivins was co-editor.
Ivins made a living poking fun at politicians, whether they were in her home state of Texas or the White House. She revealed in early 2006 that she was being treated for breast cancer for the third time. However like the New York Times, her so called humor was in reality leftwing propaganda.
"I'm sorry to say [cancer] can kill you, but it doesn't make you a better person," she said in an interview with the San Antonio Express-News in September, the same month cancer claimed her friend, former Gov. Ann Richards. That is certainly true in Ivins case. She never had an end of life revelation that her liberal loving life had been a total waste.
To Ivins, "liberal" wasn't an insult. Another example of living in a delusional loser.
GOOD RIDDANCE
2007/1/30
@ 06:52 PM (34 months, 5 days ago)
While Microsoft is basking in the Vista release, things aren't so good with the competition.
In what could prove to be the most embarrassing misstep in consumer electronics history, Apple Inc. announced today that it would recall its entire production run of the Apple iPhone after discovering that it had failed to include a “phone” feature in the much-hyped handheld device.
Speaking from Apple corporate headquarters, company founder Steve Jobs offered consumers his apology for the monumental goof and seemed to be searching for an explanation for how it could have occurred.
“First and foremost, we’re sorry,” a red-faced Mr. Jobs said in a conference call with Wall Street analysts. “When you make a product called the iPhone, people expect it to include a phone, and we messed that part up.”
Mr. Jobs suggested that Apple had been so focused on making the iPhone the “coolest handheld device ever” that it had forgotten to include one of the most important features of any cellular phone: “One thing people like about cell phones is that you can dial numbers into them and call people.”
Instead, he explained, Apple’s engineers had crammed the iPhone with a plethora of what he called “non-phonal features,” such as a camera, an MP3 player, a taser, and a tactical nuclear weapon.
While Mr. Jobs said that almost all of the nine million iPhones that had been shipped to stores were on their way back to Apple’s manufacturing plant, he offered advice to consumers who somehow had already obtained the phoneless iPhone: “Just hold it up to your head and pretend to be talking into it.”
2007/1/28
@ 08:03 PM (34 months, 7 days ago)
The camel jockeys can't even speak coherently must like read and write. The only code they understand is being killed. Good riddance.
WHY DON'T YOU GO OVER THERE AND JOIN YOUR BUDDIES JOCKO? AFRAID OF ENDING UP LIKE THIS MUSLIM JACKASS?
@ 11:39 AM (34 months, 8 days ago)
Sunday, January 28, 2007; Page B01
Excerpts:
Hillary Rodham Clinton sure got it right when she announced her candidacy for president while sitting on her living room couch. Her success may very well turn on the decisions of millions of women sitting on their living room couches.
Clinton advisers James Carville and Mark Penn have said they're counting on a women's vote (the "X factor") to catapult their client into the White House. They're obviously hoping that a female candidate will get much more support from women and are banking on the "gender gap," the idea, trumpeted by the media and women's organizations, that women believe in liberal policies and will therefore, as rational political actors, support the Democratic Party.
But I have news for Messrs. Carville and Penn: All the gender gap talk notwithstanding, there's no guarantee that Clinton would receive enough votes from women to be elected. I've studied women and women's politics for 20 years, and if there's one thing I know, it's that, except for possibly once in 1996, female voters have not by themselves put anyone in the White House.
If Clinton is going to attract the women she needs, she's probably going to have to do something more than simply have a pair of X chromosomes herself. And much as it pains a feminist like me to say it, a lot of her campaign will have to involve putting her on the couch and analyzing her character and motivation. Again.
My own theory is that women don't decide elections because they're not rational political actors -- they don't make firm policy commitments and back the candidates who will move society in the direction they want it to go. Instead, they vote on impulse, and on elusive factors such as personality.
With Clinton's candidacy on the horizon, I decided to test my theory by asking a few white, married women -- the key demographic -- what they are up to this time.
If any women were going to be politically aware, I figured, it would be those in the Washington area. So I contacted half a dozen members of the Wednesday Morning Group, a D.C. area organization that provides speakers and programs mostly for stay-at-home moms. (One even told me I had caught her sitting on her living room couch.)
All the women voted in the midterm elections last year and intend to vote in 2008. But how do they decide which lever to pull? My small sampling is admittedly unscientific, but what they told me reveals a lot about why campaigning to women is so tricky.
A 49-year-old former public relations executive in suburban Maryland told me she votes the political agenda she learned from her lefty father. She reads The Washington Post, but there are no books on her bedside table. She counts on her husband to tell her what's in the Nation magazine and on the Web.
A 36-year-old former financial sales executive considers herself an independent, reads only the Style and Weekend sections of The Post and the Marketplace and Personal Journal sections of the Wall Street Journal, and also counts on her husband, a Republican, to tell her what's interesting in the rest of the paper.
A former human rights activist told me that she still reads the New York Times, skims the Economist, and gathers political information from PBS's "News Hour," a local broadcast from the BBC and from her church.
They were clearly defensive about her decision to stay the course after the Monica Lewinsky scandal. "She set herself up in her life," one explained, "to get wherever she wanted to go. That's what men do all the time. . . . When a woman does it, what's wrong with that?"
I couldn't escape the fact that they took in little of politics, especially compared with their husbands, that their decision-making seemed impulsive and that their response to Clinton's candidacy was driven to an amazing extent by personality.
Unlike the married suburban women she must attract in large numbers, Clinton didn't stay home from work. Remember the "baking cookies" remark? On the other hand, she has had the soap opera story of the century with that charismatic, faithless husband. This has made her suffer, something one of the Wednesday women specifically singled out as a reason to support a candidate. Will she be willing to open that old wound to convince potential female supporters that her policies, such as universal child health care, arise out of her concern for women like them, rather than being just the usual liberal agenda? Worse, if she does play the wronged wife again, does she risk alienating the women who think she should have left her husband long ago?
A suffering wife and mother whose campaign mysteriously unleashes attacks on her opponents? It's not the current game plan, no doubt. But I'm drawing on the lessons of history. I'd rather promote cheery stories of the gender gap -- but those stories are just a diversion from the hard work of bringing women into the world of governance. Mark my words: Those who do not study women's history are doomed to repeat its failures.
2007/1/27
@ 03:19 PM (34 months, 9 days ago)
NO MORE FREE ADS FOR YOU....PAY FOR YOUR ADS IN SACRAMENTO ONLY...THE REST OF THE WORLD IS OFF LIMITS
@ 03:15 PM (34 months, 9 days ago)
BUSINESS AS USUAL
GIVE IT A REST REALTOR IN SACRAMENTO AND PAY FOR YOUR ADS
@ 12:01 PM (34 months, 9 days ago)
Dan Rather, Katie Couric, and a tough old U.S. Marine Gunny were all captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded .
Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of hot spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."
Katie Couric said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end."
The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Couric dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."
The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final wish?"
"Kick me in the ass," said the Marine.
"What?" asked the leader? "Will you mock us in your last hour?"
"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the Marine.
So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass.
The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he jumped to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, all the Iraqis were either dead or fleeing for their lives.
As the Marine was untying Rather and Couric, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass first?"
What," replied the Marine, "and have you two assholes report that I was the aggressor?
@ 11:58 AM (34 months, 9 days ago)
Bill Clinton registers for the draft on September 8, 1964, accepting all contractual conditions of registering for the draft.
Selective Service Number 326 46 228.
Bill Clinton classified 2-S on November 17, 1964.
Bill Clinton reclassified 1-A on March 20, 1968.
Bill Clinton ordered to report for induction on July 28, 1969.
Bill Clinton refuses to report and is not inducted into the military.
Bill Clinton reclassified 1-D after enlisting in the United States Army Reserves on August 07, 1969, under authority of Col. E. Holmes.
Clinton signs enlistment papers and takes oath of enlistment.
Bill Clinton fails to report to his duty station at the University of Arkansas ROTC, September 1969.
Bill Clinton reclassified 1-A on October 30, 1969, as enlistment with Army Reserves is revoked by Colonel E... Holmes and Clinton now AWOL and subject to arrest under Public Law 90-40 (2)(a) registrant who has failed to report..remain liable for induction.'
Bill Clinton's birth date lottery number is 311, drawn December 1, 1969, but anyone who has already been ordered to report for induction is INELIGIBLE!
Bill Clinton runs for Congress (1974), while a fugitive from justice under Public Law 90-40.
Bill Clinton runs for Arkansas Attorney General (1976), while a fugitive from justice.
Bill Clinton receives pardon on January 21,1977, from President Carter.
Bill Clinton FIRST PARDONED FEDERAL FELON ever to serve as President of the United States.
All these facts come from Freedom of Information requests, public laws, and various books that have been published, and have not been refuted by Clinton.
After the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, President Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down and punished.
After the 1995 bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed five U.S. military personnel Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down and punished.
After the 1996 Khobar Towers bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed 19 and injured 200 U.S. Military personnel; Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down and punished.
After the 1998 bombing of U.S. Embassies in Africa, which killed 224 and injured 5,000; Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down and punished.
After the 2000 bombing of the USS Cole, which killed 17 an d injured 39 U.S. Sailors; Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down and punished.
Maybe if Clinton had kept those promises, an estimated 3,000 people in New York and Washington, DC that are now dead would be alive
today.
AN INTERESTING QUESTION:
This question was raised on a Philly radio call-in show. Without casting stones, it is a legitimate question.
There are two men, both extremely wealthy. One develops relatively cheap software and gives billions of dollars to charity.
The other sponsors terrorism. That being the case, why was it that the Clinton Administration spent more money chasing down Bill Gates over the eight years in office, than Osama bin Laden?
THINK ABOUT IT!
It is a strange turn of events. Hillary gets $8 Million for her forth coming memoir.
Bill gets about $12 Million for his memoir yet to be written. This from two people who spent 8 years being unable to recall anything about past events while under oath.
2007/1/26
@ 10:29 PM (34 months, 9 days ago)
@ 10:23 PM (34 months, 9 days ago)
@ 09:45 PM (34 months, 9 days ago)
The appointment of Mr. Gates flew through Congress. Apparently the usual deceitful liberals now are changing their allleged minds. Uh oh...too late frauds.
As usual point to the left and LAUGH
2007/1/25
@ 06:27 PM (34 months, 10 days ago)
Offer: Why waste the paper?
When I am representing a seller and get a low offer I am not offended. I just read a post by one of the other consistent Sacramento bloggers, John L, and he was babbling about sellers thinking they are in the past and buyers making offers in the future. What he was saying is true; often sellers want to price their home for...
This realtor's formula to get commissions: Break down their clients, the poor sellers, to take a way lower price...of course the high asking price was suggested by the same realtor in the first place to get the commision. When you the seller reduce the sales price by $50K the realtor who hoodwinks you into the deal gets a measly $500 less in commissions.
Moral: Don't trust realtors
@ 06:21 PM (34 months, 10 days ago)
Isn't it amazing that some people - most often liberals - refuse to discuss issues they know they are unable to discuss rationally. This fraud realtor in particular blogs total nonsense advertising her questionable skills. Of course the blog of lies and deception is linked to her marketing site. To avoid anyone getting ripped by this fraud, no link is provided. But a word for the wise, before hiring a Sacramento area realtor, get a very personal reference from someone you know. Also google the name and see if any funky stuff comes up. It did with this one. What a doozy. She claims in writing to be 'the best real estate agent in Sacramento'. You gotta know that is total BS.
@ 05:51 AM (34 months, 11 days ago)
I DON'T PLAN TO LET HILLARY RUIN MY ENJOYMENT OF FOLLOWING POLITICS, HOWEVER I HAVE ADDED A PIECE OF EQUIPMENT FOR FOR READING AND VIEWING PLEASURE....CAN YOU IMAGINE THE BIDEN, EDWARDS, CLINTON, OBAMA, RICHARDSON AND WHOVEVER ELSE DEBATES? WITH THOSE CUTTHROATS ALONE IT SHOULD BE WILD. THE 2008 IS GOING TO BE THE MOST DIVISIVE EVER AND THAT JUST INCLUDES THE DEMOCRAT PRIMARIES
2007/1/24
@ 02:21 PM (34 months, 12 days ago)
Very interesting that even CNN would release that poll result.
Of course there are unhappy with their lousy lives liiberals who can claim that the sky isn't blue, clouds aren't white and that on clear nights there are stars in the sky. Take a look at the crap this jackass wrote (in the appropriate blue) and the truthful corrections that follow:
Here's one recap of the president's State of the Union address:
1. The New Equation in Iraq: Fight All Muslims, Everywhere, All the Time A COMPLETE FABRICATION. ALL THE DEMOCRATS, NANCY PELOSI INCLUDED APPLAUDED THE PRESIDENT'S ASSERTIONS THAT THE US WILL FIGHT TERRORISTS WHERE THEY ARE RATHER THAN IN THE US.
2. Balanced Budget Baloney WAS IT BALONEY WHEN PRESIDENT CLINTON PLANNED TO DO IT? THE STATISTICS ABOUT DEFICIT REDUCTION OVER THE LAST 3 YEARS ARE FACTUAL.
3. Health Care on Life Support DEMOCRATS, HILLARY AND PELOSI INCLUDED STOOD AND APPLAUDED THE PRESIDENT'S HEALTH CARE PLAN.
4. Border Disorder SEE COMMENT TO #3 ABOVE
5. No Private School Left Behind WRONG AGAIN. NO SCHOOL OR CHILD CONTINUES TO BE LEFT BEHIND. VOUCHER SYSTEM REMAINS IN THE POSSIBLE MIX.
6. Flipping on Energy Conservation EVERY PRESIDENT SINCE 1970 HAS CONSISTENTLY SUPPORTED ENERGY CONSERVATION, PRESIDENT BUSH HAS BEEN CONSISTENT SINCE ELECTED.
7. No Flopping on Global Warming LOOK OUT YOUR WINDOW YOU LIBERAL JACKASS. EVERY PERSON ON EARTH WITH HALF A BRAIN (YOU DON'T QUALIFY WITH 10% OF A BRAIN) CAN SEE FOR THEMSELVES.
8. Black Allies in the Gallery, Not on the Floor WRONG AGAIN LIAR. J. C. WATTS, CONDI RICE FOR STARTERS, RANGEL EVEN STOOD AND APPLAUDED SEVERAL TIMES YOU LYING JACKASS.
9. Use the Troops for cover HELLO JACKASS, EVERY PRESIDENT EVEN BILL CLINTON IS THE COMMANDER IN CHIEF.
10. No Red Meat for Red Staters NO COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE SPEECH FOR RIGHT WING CONSERVATIVES LIAR.
Bush's speech was subdued .. rather lifeless. Even he looked bored. CNN CORRESPONDENTS, YOUR OFFICIAL SPOKESMEN IMMEDIATELY GAVE THE SPEECH HIGH MARKS AND PRAISED THE PRESIDENT'S DELIVERY.
Letterman said the speech was so boring that Pelosi and Cheney were making out. Can't wait for Jon Stewart's review. LIKE YOU BOTH ARCH LIBERALS HAD ALREADY WRITTEN WHAT THEY HAD TO SAY PRIOR TO THE SPEECH BEING GIVEN.
To amuse myself, I imagined that Bush was Charlie McCarthy and Cheney was sitting behind him pulling strings .. that way Dick has of talking out of the side of his mouth would make him a good ventriloquist .. THE TRUTH IS YOU AMUSED YOURSELF BY NOT WATCHING THE SPEECH AT ALL AND WATCHING A PORNO DVD INSTEAD.
There were only two exciting moments the entire night--first, when they did that zoom in on Condi Rice's scary evil-eye scowl .. and second, Sen. Jim Webb. He was amazing. he was presidential .. and gave a damn good speech too. Sometimes you forget what someone intelligent and thoughtful sounds like. JIM WEBB IS AN ANGRY MADMAN AND MADE THE DEMOCRATS LOOK STUPID FOR PICKING HIM. AFTER HIS 1ST TERM HE WON'T EVEN BE ELECTED AS DOG CATCHER. ALSO APPLIES TO THE CRAP IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING.
I like that Webb respects our military. Those brave men and women put their lives on the line for us .. and have the right to expect in return that the government they serve should use sound judgment and common sense and not abuse their service.
It was nice that Bush made a big deal over Pelosi being the first woman to be seated behind a president during the SOTU. Then I got to thinking that taking over 200 years to make this happen was not actually something to be proud of.
Erase the deficit in 5 years? The look on Hillary's face was priceless... THE REMAINING 50 % JACKASS. HILLARY HAD A SOURPUSS ON ALL NIGHT AND WILL DO THE SAME DURING HER PRIMARY OPPONENTS SPEECHS AND COMMENTS WHILE THEY KICK HER FAT ASS IN DEBATES. SHE DIDN'T WEAR THE SOURPUSS WHEN HER HUSBAND MADE HIS GRANDIOSE PROMISES AND GARGARTUAN LIES.
I guess the Big Easy has been passed off as someone else's problem.
And Bush didn't once mention the sanctity of marriage .. or flag burning. That must have really been tough on the right-wing evangelicals .. no pet 'values' issues mentioned .. no protections for flags or fetuses or stem cells.
He wants to tax employer based healthcare. This is a tax increase for a good majority of people. Tax on health insurance may just do the trick in ticking off the last of the middle class Republicans who still support him. Wonder what they said about it on Faux News?
It was kind of creepy how he kept mentioning Iran .. in the same way he mentioned Iraq and yellow cake in 2003. That guy is lethal to those in the military. You don't send several aircraft carriers half-way around the world for nothing.
One morning next Spring we'll probably wake up to hear that "a border incident" forced us to launch the 188th on Tehran...
Most obnoxious line--"This is not the fight we entered in Iraq, but it is the fight we are in." Who wrote that one for him, Rummy?
Bush really is clueless. He still thinks the whole Iraq deal will turn itself around and he'll be vindicated and his critics will be wrong .. and he'll go into the history books as the greatest president of the modern era.
Mrs. Cheney did not look too happy .. probably all that good news coming from the first day of Scooter Libby's trial. I can't wait for the testimony to start .. the opening arguments have been so much fun. I am rooting for Scooter BTW .. no way should he take the fall for Rove.
I thought the Subway guy was awesome .. but he should have gotten a lifetime bus/subway pass instead of a one year deal. He's George's new black friend .. since they might be getting ready to throw Condi under the train.
Scariest thought all night--they had Attorney General Alberto Gonzales squirreled away somewhere so that, if the Capitol's roof collapsed and wiped out the President, VP, Speaker, President Pro Tem, and the rest of the cabinet, Gonzales would become our prez.
And if you were playing a drinking game where you had to chug every time the camera showed Hillary with a pissed look on her face .. boy, you must be hung over this morning.
THE LAST FEW LINES ABOVE SPEAK FOR THEMSELVE AND NEED SO SPECIAL COMMENTARY. ALL IN ALL A SAD SACK OF LIBERAL LIES THAT WERE MADE UP PRIOR TO THE SPEECH. IT MUST BE PATHETIC TO LIVE SUCH A HATE FILLED LIFE UNCONNECTED TO REALITY AND HAVE TO WRITE THE CRAP IN BLUE TO MAKE MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER.
EVEN A CHILD KNOWS LIBERAL BULLSHIT WHEN HE READS OR HEARS IT
2007/1/23
@ 06:26 PM (34 months, 12 days ago)
Moshe Katsav - Hebrew for Bill Clinton
Prosecutors intend to charge President Moshe Katsav with rape and other crimes against female employees and Hillary Clinton, the Justice Ministry said on Tuesday, in what would be an unprecedented indictment against an Israeli head of state.
Katsav has denied wrongdoing. "I had no relations with that woman, Hillary Clinton, yuck."
The case against Katsav, months in the making, appeared certain to strengthen the feeling among many Israelis that misconduct is rampant at the top.
The scandal erupted last year when several former staffers filed complaints with police, accusing Katsav of sex crimes.
2007/1/22
@ 08:40 PM (34 months, 13 days ago)
Among topics to be discussed:
1. Hillary is a lesbian.
2. Pelosi hires thousands of illegal Mexicans.
3. Iran invasion.
4. Chavez assasination plans.
5. 5 new carriers commisioned.
6. Nuking Iran.
7. Announcing Dick Cheney's 2008 White House bid.
@ 08:31 PM (34 months, 13 days ago)
A major U.S. AIDS treatment group plans to file a lawsuit on Monday that accuses drug giant Pfizer Inc. of illegally promoting recreational use of its blockbuster impotence pill Viagra.
The AIDS Healthcare Foundation (AHF) told Reuters it wants Pfizer to be barred from marketing Viagra as a lifestyle or sexual enhancement drug. The nonprofit organization said Pfizer's actions had led to risky behavior by men and an increase in HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.
"Pfizer has created and contributed to the perception of Viagra as a safe, sexy, lifestyle, recreational drug, to be frequently used regardless of the degree, or even existence of" erectile dysfunction, the group said in draft legal documents.
Personally this story confuses me. What do they mean recreational use? Something like this?
Are they talking about the bears on the right?
@ 08:16 PM (34 months, 13 days ago)
GOP Reaction Ranges from Ecstatic to Euphoric
Just days after announcing her candidacy for president, Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-New York)’s decision to run for her party's nomination has picked up support in an unlikely place, with a new poll showing that an overwhelming 100% of Republicans favor her decision to run.
The poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, shows that while only 41% of Democrats support Sen. Clinton’s decision to run, a full 100% of Republicans identify themselves as either “ecstatic” or “euphoric” about her decision.
“Over the weekend, Sen. Clinton announced to the country, ‘I’m in,’” said Rockwell Pritchard of the Opinion Research Institute. “And Republican voters seem to have responded, ‘We’re stoked.’”
Sen. Clinton’s poll numbers are in stark contract with the level of G.O.P. support for Sen. Barack Obama (D-Illinois)’s decision to run for president, which stands at zero percent.
When asked what they did when they found out that Sen. Clinton had announced her candidacy, 51% of Republicans responded “cracked open some champagne” while 49% answered “danced a jig.”
But despite the overwhelming poll numbers, support among Republicans for Sen. Clinton’s decision to run faces a threat from one possible X-factor: Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass).
According to the poll, 100% of Republican voters agree with the statement “If John Kerry decided to run again I would be even more stoked than I am about Hillary deciding to run – and I am already really stoked about her running.”
2007/1/21
@ 06:34 PM (34 months, 14 days ago)
DECIDES TO BECOME ROSS PEROT'S PUPPET
THAT'S NOT EXACTLY A NEWS FLASH HILLARY
SHOCKINGLY HIRES JIMMY SWAGGART
NAMES ROSS PEROT RUNNING MATE
@ 04:43 PM (34 months, 14 days ago)
A REAL FRIEND WILL ALERT THEIR FRIENDS IN TIME
IF YOU SEE ONE COMING HIDE YOUR MONEY
@ 09:47 AM (34 months, 15 days ago)
WHAT DOES YOUR AVERAGE LIBERAL CONTRIBUTE TO SOCIETY?
FOR EXAMPLE:
A LIBERAL said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off.
I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."
A LIBERAL is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the
impression that she just cleaned the whole house.
As LIBERALS slide down the banister of life, may the splinters always point
the wrong way.
"I think with a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court, you can't play, you know, hide the salami, or whatever it's called"?
"Many of you are well enough off that...the tax cuts may have helped you. We're saying that for America to get back on track, we're probably going to cut that short and not give it to you. We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good"?
2007/1/20
@ 11:42 AM (34 months, 16 days ago)
CLICK IMAGE FOR ADDITIONAL DETAIL
@ 10:44 AM (34 months, 16 days ago)
Seeking to not only be the first woman but also the first communist President, Hillary says she is in. "With Castro dead, there is a void of communist dictators. Once I am in the White House, I am in for life."
Fat ankles and weasling waffling postions and all, unfortunately some Americans may fall under she spell. Fortunately there are already a number of other announced Democrat candidates who will beat her up in the primaries and debates. If Edwards was a good enough trial lawyer to become extremely wealthy at a young age and retire one would assume he should be able to cross examine the hell out of Hillary. Then there is the possibility of the anti Obama commercials being true and video could turn up showing Hillary and him going at it. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
@ 10:36 AM (34 months, 16 days ago)
While in Michigan both were arrested and held without bail for violating Michigan's new anti cheating on your spouse law. This was in addition to totally grossing out Mabel Johnson on her birthday.
@ 10:24 AM (34 months, 16 days ago)
Don't be lured into the lies of rip off artists. Find someone more competent.
2007/1/18
@ 10:35 PM (34 months, 17 days ago)
OH ALL RIGHT, IT IS THE SAME OLD THINKERS WITH A NEW NAME
WEASELS EXPLORING SCREWING AMERICANS EVEN MORE
2007/1/17
@ 08:37 PM (34 months, 18 days ago)
Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, riding high after being re-elected to a six-year term in office, set his sights on an even higher goal today as he demanded membership in the Axis of Evil.
Mr. Chavez, who made headlines at the U.N. last year by comparing President George W. Bush to Satan, has made no secret of the fact that he would like to join the exclusive club of the world’s most infamous evildoers, including North Korean president Kim Jong-Il and Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
But when the Venezuelan president recently received the news that former Axis of Evil member Saddam Hussein had been hanged, “he realized that this was his time,” an aide to the Venezuelan madman said.
“I want Saddam’s slot,” Mr. Chavez said at a press conference in Caracas today. “I’ve earned it.”
But “not so fast,” says Kim Jong-Il, who heard of Mr. Chavez’ demand while appearing at an Axis of Evil charity golf tournament in Scottsdale, Arizona.
While the North Korean president said that he is “a big fan of Hugo’s work,” he has reservations about granting the Venezuelan dictator membership in the Axis of Evil: “I think there’s a big difference between being evil and just being crazy, and I think Hugo falls under crazy.”
But when asked who he would like to see take Saddam’s place in the Axis of Evil, Kim did not miss a beat: Rosie O’Donnell.
“Anyone who can make enemies of both Donald Trump and Barbara Walters deserves a seat at the table,” Kim said.
@ 08:32 PM (34 months, 18 days ago)
Janie Julienne, a Sausalito realtor had her ticket punched for using a blog to troll for clients. In addition the blog contained questionable advice according to the committee.
Get this, Julienne advertised herself as an "expereienced professional Realtor®" (the spelling error is taken verbatim from the advertising). Thank goodness she is outta here. Can you imagining her typoing in an extra zero in your offering price or typoing out a zero or two in your asking price or typoing an inverted 6 to a 9% commission, all the while saying "Don't worry it's a standard form."
YOU'RE FIRED WITCH
@ 08:19 PM (34 months, 18 days ago)
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff." "BTW when you buy this house for $400,000 you owe me $24,000."
THE THIEVING REALTOR SHOULD STAY WHERE SHE BELONGS
@ 07:59 PM (34 months, 18 days ago)
Well you might say that 90% of realtors are sleazeballs and be right. But trolling for customers by blogging?
Click on the bottom feeder above for the truth about realtors.
2007/1/16
@ 08:53 PM (34 months, 19 days ago)
Fidel Castro is scheduled to testify if you can believe that. Smart money say that if he doesn't testify the first day, he won't be there the second. It looks like Castro will soon if not already be joining Moe Larry and Curly (our three hanged Iraqi friends) with their new pal Satan. I pity that Satan. Of course he is probably already surrounded by jackasses, but these last four could put him over the edge. Then what would happen?
What if Satan escaped? What if he already has and morphed into say...Hussein Obama?
Donald Trump, Greta Van Susteran, Top Cat and Barbara Walters among others are on the witness lists.
@ 08:15 PM (34 months, 19 days ago)
HOW DO YOU GET $99.99 CHANGE WHEN PAYING WITH A HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL?
HIRE HILLARY AS YOUR HO FOR AN HOUR
2007/1/15
@ 11:09 PM (34 months, 20 days ago)
The presidents of Iran and Venezuela announced that they are joining forces for future projects and that they are seeking the participation of retired veteran villians.
FOREIGN RELATIONS
STRATEGY
MILITARY
OBVIOUSLY HUGE ASSETS TO THE TWO JACKASSES
@ 08:48 PM (34 months, 20 days ago)
UNLIKE NANCY PANCY MR. PELOSI IS A FUN GUY
@ 08:35 PM (34 months, 20 days ago)
ROT IN HELL JACKASSES
@ 06:36 PM (34 months, 20 days ago)
This jackass claims to be a newsman. NOT. To call him a distorter of facts is to be charitable. The man is as nutty as Rosie O'Donnell. He will be off TV and probably writing his rantings.
OLBERMANN THE JACKASS IS PANDERING TO THE LIBERAL LEFT TO MAKE MONEY..HIS OPINIONS ARE NOT NEWS..ONLY THE LOUD WORDS OF A MORALLY WEAK PANDERER
2007/1/14
@ 10:10 PM (34 months, 21 days ago)
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition , Wife 1.0i nstalled itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
Thanks,
A Troubled User
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to runEVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.
However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !
WARNING!!! DO NOT , under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
@ 05:24 PM (34 months, 21 days ago)
PELOSI'S HUSBAND OVERPAYS ILLEGAL MEXICANS TO HAVE SEX WITH HER
@ 09:13 AM (34 months, 22 days ago)
CLICK THE IMAGE BELOW THE REVEAL THE TRUE IDENTITY
FRAUDS .. ALL OF THEM
These are the type of scum who revel in Barbara Boxer's hypocritical low blow attack on Condi Rice and then try to backfill and justify.
@ 09:06 AM (34 months, 22 days ago)
It's time to dig into the background of one of the people who could unseat Hillary as the presumptive democratic nominee. After reading this, maybe John Edwards looks a little better. Of we all know that everyone is better than Hillary. The key is that the democrats nominate someone beatable by the most Conservative electable candidate the GOP nominates. What a horror it would be to live four or even heaven forbid eight years under a Hillary or Obama regime. Blech!!!!!!
Barack Hussein Obama is an apostate Muslim. He was educated in madrassas in Hawaii and Indonesia from an early age, up until high school.
His natural father and namesake, a Kenyan Muslim, was associated with one of the most corrupt and violent organizations in Africa, the Mau Mau of the
Kenyatta regime. He divorced Barack's mother when Barack was two years old, according to Moslem law. Barack's mother remarried, another Muslim and took Barack to Indonesia, the most densely populated Islamic country in the world.
When his mother divorced her second Muslim husband, she and Barack returned to Hawaii where he attended high school.
Later, he attended Columbia University where he majored in political science then worked for Business International for a year and then was a community
organizer at a Chicago housing project. It was during his time spent there that Obama joined the Trinity United Church of Christ. Obama was a Muslim for over twenty-five years.
In his 1995 memoir, "Dreams from My Father," Obama admits to using marijuana and cocaine. At one time he ran his credit cards up so high that the credit card company denied him access to further use of his card.
He supports homosexual marriage, racial preferences, gun control, socialized medicine and the absolute right to abortion, including partial-birth abortions. He is anti-war, voted against the reauthorization of the USA Patriot Act and opposes the death penalty and school vouchers,
He has said he loves Jimmy Carter and is the 18th most liberal member of the Senate, receiving a 100% rating from Americans for Democratic Action, NARAL Pro-Choice America, National Organization for Women, the NAACP and the National Education Association.
America will never elect an uber-liberal, apostate Muslim and self-admitted drug user to the Office of the President of the United States... or will we?
@ 08:59 AM (34 months, 22 days ago)
--"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan
"If we ever forget that we're One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under."
also by... Ronald Reagan
2007/1/13
@ 09:09 AM (34 months, 23 days ago)
LIBERAL DEMOCRAT IRAQ PLAN
@ 09:04 AM (34 months, 23 days ago)
For all the conspiracy buffs out there, take a look at this:
CLICK ABOVE TO REVIEW THE THOUGHTS OF A ROCKET SCIENTIST
2007/1/12
@ 08:28 PM (34 months, 23 days ago)
Mercifully the Giants ended the dangling for Tom Coughlin the same way the Iraqis ended Saddam's dangling. Outta here. Rather than conducting interviews, at the same press conference the new coach was introduced.
"TECHNICALLY I HAVE NO COACHING EXPERIENCE BUT HELL I'M DAVE CHAPPELLE BITCH"
"NO STRAHAN, I WILL NOT DATE YOU BITCH"
@ 02:02 PM (34 months, 24 days ago)
PELOSI, ET AL, WEASELS THAT THEY ARE, PLAN DURBIN'S PLAN CONTENTLESS
REBUTTAL TO PRESIDENT'S ADDRESS ANNOUNCING IRAQ PLAN
@ 01:46 PM (34 months, 24 days ago)
A furious Osama bin Laden appeared on the Arabic-language Al-Jazeera network last night to denounce his inclusion on the latest edition of Mr. Blackwell’s infamous Worst Dressed List.
In his half-hour tirade, the world’s most wanted man left no doubt that he was incensed at being considered one of the world’s worst dressed men as well.
Wearing his trademark robe and sporting a white, flowing beard, the al-Qaeda terror mastermind lambasted his inclusion on a list that also featured such Hollywood notables as Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Lindsey Lohan.
“The infidel who placed me on this ignoble list will be forced to pay,” warned Mr. bin Laden, who used his television appearance to declare a global jihad against Mr. Blackwell.
But reached at his office in Beverly Hills, Mr. Blackwell seemed unruffled by Mr. bin Laden’s threat, and even went so far as to criticize his appearance on television: “If you’re going to complain about being on my list, why would you go on TV wearing that dress?”
Calling Mr. bin Laden’s sartorial sense “tacky, tacky, tacky,” Mr. Blackwell said, “Half the time he looks like an extra in ‘Lord of the Rings.’”
While Mr. Blackwell said he had no regrets about placing the al-Qaeda leader on the Worst Dressed List, he stopped short of putting him in the same echelon as Ms. Hilton and Ms. Spears, who tied for #1.
“At least he wears underwear,” he said. “I think.”
2007/1/11
@ 09:24 PM (34 months, 24 days ago)
The biggest whore in America is Hillary Clinton. Whored herself with her husband's continuous public infidelities to get him elected, be first lady and start to make a name for herself. Whored herself pretended to be interested in cookie baking. Whored herself to carpetbag her way into being New York's Senator. No other state in the country would elected her once let alone twice. Whored herself to the citizens of New York by promising to serve out her term if re-elected. Only if another democratic Presidential candidate is nominated over Hillary's dead body will she keep her promise to the citizens of New York. Whored herself into being the Presidential candidate with the highest negative numbers. Whored herself into a position where someone with "Hussein" in his name has lower numbers. Whored herself supporting the Iraq war. Whored herself by currently waffling just enough so that one can't say whether she does or does not support the war. Whored herself to stockpile a campaign war chest for a Presidential run she assured the citizens of New York she would not make during her current term if they re-elected her.
Compared to the whoring Hillary Clinton, Fox News is angelic.
1600 WHEN OCCUPIED BY HILLARY
2007/1/10
@ 08:51 PM (34 months, 25 days ago)
RECENTLY I TOOK A CAMPING / MOUNTAIN BIKING TRIP WITH
THE AUTHOR OF SOONER BLUE (SHE PAID ME). AS YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE,
I HAVE MY PRIORITIES IN ORDER. CONSERVATIVE COZY IN THE TENT.
BIKE COZY IN THE TENT. LIBERAL LYING IN THE DIRT.
(THAT IS NOT THE ACTUAL SOONER BLUE IN THE PHOTO -
THE IMAGE OF ANOTHER WOMAN WAS INSERTED SO THAT
THE WHOLE BODY WOULD FIT IN THE FRAME)
@ 08:03 PM (34 months, 25 days ago)
One week after paying its former CEO Bob Nardelli a severance package worth $210 million, Home Depot raised eyebrows in the business community again today by paying an incompetent salesclerk $12 million “to go away forever.”
In an official statement released to Wall Street analysts this morning, Home Depot said that it was paying the former salesclerk, Lucas Rekson, 24, the unprecedented sum on the condition that “he never shows up to work again.”
The $12 million severance package for Mr. Rekson of the company’s Torrance, California store is believed to be the largest of its kind ever for a low-level incompetent employee, industry experts said.
During his two-month tenure as a salesclerk at Home Depot, Mr. Rekson made his mark by repeatedly spilling boxes of nails on the floor and accidentally banging into customers with large pieces of lumber.
In defense of the Mr. Rekson’s gargantuan severance package, company spokesman Carol Foyler offered this rationale: “If it means that Lucas will never work for Home Depot again, then $12 million is a bargain.”
Reached at his home, Mr. Rekson was taking his place in business history in stride, telling reporters that after a brief vacation in Aruba he would start looking for work again.
“I’d like to get a job at Office Max,” he said. “After a couple of months working there, I wonder how much they’d pay me to go away?”
@ 04:39 PM (34 months, 26 days ago)
A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on US 95 south, just out of Washington, DC. Nothing is moving north or south. Suddenly a man knocks on his window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What happened? What's the hold up?" "Terrorists have kidnapped Hillary Clinton, Ted Kennedy, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and John Kerry. They are asking for a $100 million ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, taking up a collection." The driver asks, "On average, how much is everyone giving?" "About a gallon."
TOO MUCH TO PAY FOR THOSE JACKASSES
2007/1/9
@ 10:31 PM (34 months, 26 days ago)
The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for one of his aides to come near.
"Yes father" said the aide.
"I would really like to see Ted Kennedy and Charles Schumer before I die", whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, father" replied the aide.
The aide sent the request to the Senate and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived. Kennedy and Schumer would be delighted to visit the priest. As they went to the hospital, Schumer commented to Kennedy "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images after the number the Republicans have done on us." Kennedy couldn't help but agree.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Kennedy' s hand in his right hand and Schumer's hand in his left.
There was silence and a look of 'serenity' on the old priest's face.
Finally Senator Kennedy spoke ... "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"
The old priest slowly replied "I have always tried to 'pattern my life' after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
"AMEN" said Kennedy. "AMEN" said Schumer.
The old priest continued . "He died between two thieves.... I would like to do the same."
You tell those jackasses the way it is Father
@ 06:58 PM (34 months, 26 days ago)
HOWARD AND LOUISE LOUISE LOOKING FOR A GOOD TIME
HOWARD AND LOUISE LOUISE GET THEIR JUST DESSERTS
@ 06:46 PM (34 months, 26 days ago)
A Boston man, caught on camera stealing a urinal from a bar (where else) gave himself up to police after media reports of his antics attracted global attention, detectives said Tuesday.
The drunk as usual man carefully removed the toilet from the bathrooms of Cheers Bar in Boston, stuffed it into one of his stomach pouches and walked out.
"I WAS ONLY INSPECTING MY COMPANY'S PRODUCT", SAID TED
Last week officers released photos of the bizarre theft, which was captured on closed circuit television, and reports of the crime appeared around the world from as far afield as India, Australia and China, Hampshire Police said.
The man handed himself and the urinal over to police, saying he had taken it as a "souvenir."
@ 08:21 AM (34 months, 27 days ago)
THEY'RE ALL SPECIAL AND NONE ARE LIBERALS
CLICK PIC TO CAST YOUR VOTE
@ 08:04 AM (34 months, 27 days ago)
THE SHOULD HAVE HIT THE DRIVETHROUGH MORE OFTEN
AND USED THESE EVERYTIME, THE DUPLICITOUS JACKASSES
2007/1/8
@ 10:49 PM (34 months, 27 days ago)
STEP #1 - SECURING EXCLUSIVE CONDOM WRAP MARKET
@ 07:20 PM (34 months, 27 days ago)
WHY DON'T YOU LIBERAL PRO ARBORTIONISTS GO TO THE KFC DRIVETHROUGH
AND PICK UP SOME OF THESE AND USE THEM...JACKASSES
@ 05:52 PM (34 months, 27 days ago)
At a press briefing at the White House today, President George W. Bush said that he was “sensitive” to the global outcry over the manner in which former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein was hanged and would attempt to make amends by hanging Mr. Hussein for a second time.
According to the president, Saddam’s second hanging will be conducted under a strict new set of rules handed down by the U.S., including a zero tolerance policy on camera phones.
“If this second hanging shows up on the YouTubes, I am going to blow my stack,” Mr. Bush said.
HANGING THE JACKASS A THOUSAND TIMES WOULD BE LESS
THAN HE DESERVES
Mr. Bush said that the U.S. would try to control the taunting by the hooded Shiite militiamen responsible for hanging the Iraqi dictator by issuing an “official list of approved Shiite taunts.”
“If it’s not on that list of taunts, I don’t want to hear it,” Mr. Bush said. “You stay classy, Shiites.”
So far the approved list includes: "Die camel jockey", "Your mother should rot in hell too", "Hell is not bad enough for you" .....
2007/1/7
@ 09:41 PM (34 months, 28 days ago)
@ 08:52 PM (34 months, 28 days ago)
Benedict boots the spy Wielgus out on his lying butt. Could he have been a perv too?
The newly appointed archbishop of Warsaw resigned on Sunday after admitting he spied for Poland's former communist regime, in a major embarrassment for the Vatican and the powerful Polish Catholic Church.
WAS HE A SPY FOR THE FORCES OF GOOD OR EVIL OR BOTH?
Archbishop Stanislaw Wielgus read out his resignation, which came at the request of Pope Benedict who appointed him just a month ago, at a special mass in Warsaw Cathedral replacing a formal ceremony that was to have sworn him in.
@ 08:46 PM (34 months, 28 days ago)
"HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST WINNERS?"
@ 08:25 AM (34 months, 29 days ago)
ANIMALS INSTINCTIVELY KNOW WHAT TO DO TO LIBERALS
@ 12:18 AM (34 months, 29 days ago)
About time. Those camel jockeys need to shut up and go away.
Israel has drawn up secret plans to destroy Iran's uranium enrichment facilities with tactical nuclear weapons, Britain's Sunday Times newspaper said.
Citing what it said were several Israeli military sources, the paper said two Israeli air force squadrons had been training to blow up an enrichment plant in Natanz using low-yield nuclear "bunker busters".
Two other sites, a heavy water plant at Arak and a uranium conversion plant at Isfahan, would be targeted with conventional bombs, the Sunday Times said.
Kaboom Ahmadinejad.
2007/1/6
@ 07:50 PM (34 months, 29 days ago)
"MEOW....I'M ONLY HERE FOR THE CATNIP IN HIS CUFFS"
@ 09:22 AM (35 months, 7 hours ago)
A young blonde was on vacation and driving through the Everglades. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle on prices" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes for free!"
The shopkeeper said with a sly, knowing smile, "Little lady, just go and give it a try!"
The blonde headed out toward the swamps, determined to catch an alligator Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he pulls over to the side of the levee where he spots that same young woman standing waist deep in the murky bayou water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he spots a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning speed, she takes aim, kills the creature and hauls it onto the slimy bank of the swamp. Lying nearby were seven more of the dead creatures, all lying on their backs. The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement.
The blonde struggled and flipped the gator onto its back. Rolling her eyes heaven-ward and screaming in great frustration, she shouts out "SH*T... THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT TOO!"
"WHAT A WASTE OF MY VALUABLE TIME, JUST LIKE WHEN I HAD
TO WAIT FOR AAA WHEN I LOCKED MYSELF IN MY CAR AND LOST MY KEYS"
@ 09:01 AM (35 months, 7 hours ago)
Poor Carmelo Anthony. Iverson the ball hog is going to ruin his career. Iverson will continue to gun up twenty plus shots and hold the ball for 18 seconds of the 24 second clock on each offensive possession. Any star player's career went downhill when teamed with Iverson.
PRACTICE? WHO NEEDS PRACTICE? IT'S JUST PRACTICE
Poor Anthony is naive and unaware that Iverson will beat the hell out of Anthony's abilities when Carmelo starts playing again. Already the Nuggets have sunk to Iverson's depths while the Sixers have improved since the 'me first' shrimp was shipped out of town.
One of the young campers walked up to the Nuggets star, shook his hand and got right to the point Monday at the end of The Carmelo Anthony Youth Basketball Camp.
"You want A.I.?" said the kid at the Gold Crown Field House.
"Yeah," Anthony said. "Do you like Allen Iverson?"
"I like him. You and him are my favorite players," the camper said.
The Nuggets are in the midst of numerous trade rumors. About the only thing that seems safe is Anthony will be in uniform next season and will sign a five-year, $79 million contract extension Wednesday.
2007/1/5
@ 06:20 PM (35 months, 22 hours ago)
Just days after the Rev. Pat Robertson claimed on his “700 Club” program that God warned him of “mass killings” in the U.S. late in 2007, God held a rare press conference today to deny having spoken to the controversial televangelist.
For the usually publicity-shy King of the Universe, the press conference held at the Chicago Airport Marriott signaled a sharp break with tradition.
But appearing before the press in His trademark flowing robes and white beard, and carrying what appeared to be a lightning bolt, God said that He decided to convene the extraordinary press briefing because “I had to set the record straight about this.”
"DIE YOU MOTHER F***ER, YOU NEVER SPEAK FOR ME"
“I want to make it clear that at no time at the end of the year did I have any conversation with the Rev. Pat Robertson,” the Supreme Being said. “Personally, I think the guy is delusional.”
God then distributed His personal phone logs for the month of December to prove that He had in fact no contact with the Rev. Robertson.
“I don’t make a habit of talking to TV personalities,” God emphasized. “Although on New Year’s Eve I did have a brief chat with Ryan Seacrest to wish him good luck.”
Answering a reporter’s question, God acknowledged that with war raging around the globe, 2006 had been a “difficult year” for the forces of goodness, but He remained upbeat, pointing to some of His accomplishments in the year just past.
@ 06:06 PM (35 months, 22 hours ago)
Rosie O'Donnell has been mysteriously absent from the View the last couple of days. The absence coincidentally coincides with a much publicized argument with Donald Trump.
Barbara Walters producer of the View contends, Rosie is on a scheduled vacation with her life partner and children. This is in no way related to the Trump situation.
Donald Trump says Rosie is getting axed from her position at the View for her self absorbed, pompous attitude and being stupid, unattractive, fat, gross, evil, and dumb in general.
Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell have gone to a bed and breakfast in Connecticut to elope. There's growing speculation Rosie may be in a motherly way.
"I vow to never be on top Donald"
It seems "The Donald", just loves someone he can brow beat and degrade to the level of embarrassment publicly on a regular basis.
Rosie, unaccustomed to being put in her place by men, has been looking all her life for a man strong enough to overcome her own manly tendencies, and sweep her off her feet. Donald is providing the broom.
"Trump knocked Rosie for a loop", said one insider, "blasted her right out of lesbian and blew her directly into heterosexual. She didn't even get a breath at bisexual to gather her thoughts."
The unlikely couple is honeymooning somewhere in Manhattan but are in hiding from paparazzi for obvious reasons.
Brad Pitt has stood up claiming the rumored child is the result of an affair he and Rosie had and recently broke off.
2007/1/4
@ 08:40 PM (35 months, 1 day ago)
I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was
being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can
provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if
this helps.
@ 08:36 PM (35 months, 1 day ago)
Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Kevin.
I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B,
but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.
@ 08:28 PM (35 months, 1 day ago)
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. After ordering their cornbread and beans, they talk about the latest addition to their junkyard business.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says "Kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, Yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
HE CLOSED HIS EYES AND IMAGINED....
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar. His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of dat dere 'Hind Lick Maneuver', But I ain't never seed nobody do it."
@ 07:44 PM (35 months, 1 day ago)
An Australian bank has apologized for issuing a credit card to a cat after its owner decided to test the bank's identity security system.
The Bank of Queensland issued a credit card to Garfield the cat when his owner applied for a secondary card on her account under its name.
"I just couldn't believe it. People need to be aware of this and banks need to have better security," Campbell told local media on Thursday.
F U .. I'M NOT PAYING AN OUNCE OF CATNIP
@ 07:40 PM (35 months, 1 day ago)
You don't need to speak French to understand the Parisians. You just need to know how to gesture.
Or so claims a new guide issued by French tourism officials to help foreign tourists understand Parisians with a list of commonly used gestures with meanings like "shut up".
"Blend in by using them the next time you're in Paris. People will start mistaking you for a native in no time," says the online guide issued by the Ile-de-France regional committee of tourism.
YOU FROGS STINK
2007/1/3
@ 09:08 PM (35 months, 2 days ago)
Is it me or was he mourned longer than he was President? I am sure he was a nice man as all reports indicate but he was not even elected. Was his whole funeral deal longer than Ronald Reagan's? Was it dragging on so long so the liberal media could blast President Bush even longer?
Why couldn't Olbemann have been the dead one?
THE JACKASS WANTS HIS 2 SECONDS OF FAME
YOUR GREEN CARD WAS REVOKED JACKASS, GET THE HELL OUT OF THE UNITED STATES
@ 09:00 PM (35 months, 2 days ago)
"OH NO, NOT THE CANNONBALL AGAIN"
@ 08:55 PM (35 months, 2 days ago)
JACKASS SEASON IS YEAR ROUND
@ 08:45 PM (35 months, 2 days ago)
Millions Forsake Music Idols for Illinois Senator
Potential 2008 presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill) is posing a serious threat to the nation’s rock stars as millions of Americans abandon their favorite recording idols to worship the junior senator from Illinois instead, a representative of the nation’s rock stars said today.
Carol Foyler, director of the National Association of American Rock Stars, said that Sen. Obama is “consistently outdrawing” rock acts such as Aerosmith and Metallica, putting the future of America’s rock stars in jeopardy.
“If there are empty seats at our shows, they can be explained in two words: Barack Obama,” Ms. Foyler said. “Sen. Obama is the greatest single threat to rock ‘n’ roll since Napster.”
Just last week, the Illinois senator drew a standing-room-only crowd at New York’s Shea Stadium as part of his sold-out “Obamapalooza” tour.
“My name is Barack Obama,” he told the 80,000-plus crowd, who screamed with delight and held Bic lighters in the air, begging for an encore.
“I used to follow R.E.M., but now I’m into Barack,” said Tracey Klujian, 34, one of the thousands of new Obama fans in attendance. “This dude is audacious.”
While Mr. Obama’s eight-minute performance was shorter than some of his fans would have liked, he did unveil a possible slogan for a 2008 candidacy: “Vote for Barack Obama.”
The slogan got a huge reaction from his fans, including Mr. Klujian.
“I loved the slogan,” Mr. Klujian said. “It’s audacious.”
2007/1/2
@ 10:55 PM (35 months, 3 days ago)
This kind of double talk can only come from the fools at the UN.
The first question reporters asked new U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon Tuesday was, "Should Saddam Hussein have been executed?" which triggered more queries.
"Saddam Hussein was responsible for committing heinous crimes and unspeakable atrocities against the Iraqi people," replied Ban. "We should never forget the victims of his crimes. The issue of capital punishment is for each and every (U.N.) member state to decide."
He added, "While I am firmly against impunity, I also hope that the members of the international community should pay due regard to all aspects of international humanitarian laws."
But over the weekend, Special Representative Ashraf Qazi issued a statement in Baghdad saying the United Nations stands firmly against impunity and understands the desire for justice felt by the many Iraqis.
However, Qazi added, the United Nations remains opposed to capital punishment, even in the case of war crimes, crimes against humanity and genocide.
Was the new secretary-general contradicting long-stated U.N. policy of opposing capital punishment, his new spokeswoman, Michelle Montas, was asked by reporters.
WHO CARES, WE GET FREE BOOZE AND CIGARETTES, LET'S TALK ABOUT IT SOME MORE
The spokeswoman said his reference to international humanitarian law tacitly referred to how the United Nations and the Human Rights Council do not recognize capital punishment.
At the same time, she said, the secretary-general had said we first need to think about the victims of Saddam Hussein and about respect for justice.
In response to further questions, Montas said Ban's comments were not a change in U.N. policy on capital punishment.
While the United Nations is not in favor of capital punishment, she said the secretary-general was indicating it was up to individual states to determine how their laws were applied.
HUH?
2007/1/1
@ 06:52 PM (35 months, 4 days ago)
"I'M LOOKING TO TAKE MY GAME TO THE NEXT LEVEL"
"SHE WILL ALSO CADDY THIS COMING SEASON"
@ 11:13 AM (35 months, 5 days ago)
"I THOUGHT YOU SAID THERE WERE GOING TO BE CUTE MEN WE COULD HIT ON HERE"
@ 10:31 AM (35 months, 5 days ago)
As the year ends, my heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months. [To those of you who didn't, a double Thank You.] Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes 'cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.
Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.
And, I don't use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I won't use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
I don't go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from nor send packages by UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I won't answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
And, I never eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.
I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
I'm not worried about my soul because at last count I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
I don't have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time)
I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program.
Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favor!
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next-door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.
Have a wonderful day....
PS ~ A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
TO THOSE OF YOU THIS APPLIES TO, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE
