Ernie Els Scoffs at Losers

In perhaps the most troubling sign yet for her candidacy, a poll released today shows that a majority of Americans wish that Hillary Clinton was a fictitious character rather than a real person. 

Hillary's popularity has taken some serious hits in recent months as the public begins to know her better , but the new survey marks the first time that over fifty percent of respondents indicated that they wished the lying Senator was a figment of their imagination.

When asked the question, “If you could choose whether Hillary Clinton was a real person or a fictitious character,” 51% said “fictitious character” while only 42% said “real person,” with the remaining 7% responding, “Hillary Clinton IS a fictitious character.”

Even more troubling for Hillary is the survey’s conclusion that in theoretical match-ups with other fictitious characters, Mrs. Clinton would be trounced.

According to the poll, which has a margin of error of 5 percentage points, if an election were held today between Hillary and the superhero Aquaman, Hillary would lose to Aquaman by a margin of two-to-one.

And Hillary  would suffer a similar fate in hypothetical face-offs with such other fictitious characters as the Little Mermaid, the Easter Bunny, and SpongeBob SquarePants.

The spokesman for Hillary said the poll results were, in their own way, “good news” for the Senator.

“The American people want the president to be fictitious,” Hillary's staff said. “Well, her life is and her words are fictitious, so she’s really meeting them halfway.”