Cat Fight
I'M "EMBARESSED" TO SAY THAT I CAUSED THIS MESS
WHO NEEDS LOOKS WHEN YOU GOT BRAINS
ERNIE BEING ERNIE
2008/7/31
2008/7/27
2008/7/24
Business Phone Answering Etiquette
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Subject: Fw: HOW TO ANSWER BUSINESS PHONES |
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From: "Anne Diehl" <adrg1@ptd.net> |
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Date: Mon, 21 Jul 2008 12:44:38 -0400 |
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To: "Lisa Somers" <lsoms@ptd.net>, "Barbara Polinski" <h3bippie@comcast.net>, "Pat O'Rourke" <sully28@q.com>, "Martha Klingbeil" <Martnart79@aol.com>, "Kurt Eisele" <ike84div@aol.com>, "Joan Early" <JoanE1@aol.com>, "Donna Doklan" <dokie198@ptd.net>, "Helen Boyd" Htroy301@aol.com |
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2008/7/22
Sunset at Pebble Beach
MY FAVORITE TIME AT ONE OF MY FAVORITE GOLF COURSES
2008/7/20
Influencing People and Winning Friends
DON'T TAKE ANY BULLSHIT ....
2008/7/16
Christmas Shopping with Lucy Pinder
HAVE YOU BEEN NAUGHTY OR NICE? IT'S NEVER TOO EARLY
2008/7/12
Men Are Men and Women Aren't
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate
and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as
Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will
actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has 6 items in his bathroom: toothbrush & toothpaste, shaving cream,
razor, a bar of soap, and a towel... The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that, is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer
the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women, somehow, deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist
appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears, and hopes
& dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing!
2008/7/7
Salesman Plays Golf and Picks Up Woman
A guy was playing golf one day and he got lost. He saw a lady up ahead of him and went to her and said, "Can you please help me? I don't know what hole I'm on."
She told him, "You are one hole behind me. I'm on 7, you're on 6"
He thanked her and continued playing golf.
On the back nine he got lost again. He saw the same lady and went to her again kind of embarrassed. I'm sorry to bother you again but I'm lost again, can you please tell me what hole I'm on?"
She told him. "You are one hole behind me. I'm on 14, you are on 13.
Again he thanked her and continued playing golf.
When he finished he saw her in the clubhouse. He went up to her and asked if he could buy her a drink for helping him out. She accepted. As they were drinking and talking he asked her what she did for a living.
She said "I'm in sales."
He replied, "No kidding, so am I. What do you sell?"
She said it's too embarrassing to tell. But after he kept pleading to know what she sold she said she'd tell him if he promised not to laugh.
He promised.
She said, "I sell tampons".
He immediately fell to the floor laughing hysterically.
She said, "You promised you wouldn't laugh!"
He replied, "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it. You see, I sell toilet paper. I'm still one hole behind you!"
2008/7/3
Carla Bruni-Sarkozy to Wait at Tour de France Finish Line for Winner
OK .. BUT DOES SHE LIKE HER MEN SEXLESS DUE TO DOPING?
