Ernie Els Knows Golf and More

 

Men Are Just Happier People -- 

 

What do you expect

from such simple creatures?

 

Your last name stays put.

 

The garage is all yours.

 

Wedding plans

take care of themselves.

 

Chocolate is just another snack.

 

You can be President.

 

You can never be pregnant.

 

You can wear a

white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt

to a water park.

 

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

 

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive

to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

 

Same work, more pay.

 

Wrinkles add character.

 

Wedding dress $5000.

Tux rental-$100.

 

People never stare at your chest

when you're talking to them.

 

New shoes don't

cut, blister, or mangle

your feet.

 

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations

are over in 30 seconds flat.

 

A five-day vacation

requires only one suitcase.

 

You can open all your own jars.

 

You get extra credit

for the slightest act

of thoughtfulness.

 

If someone forgets to invite you,

he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95

for a three-pack.

 

Three pairs of shoes

are more than enough.

 

You almost never have

strap problems in public.

 

You are unable to see

wrinkles in your clothes.

 

Everything on your face

stays its original colour.

 

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

 

You only have to shave

your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.

 

You can wear shorts

no matter how your legs look.

 

You can 'do' your nails

with a pocket knife.

 

You have freedom of choice

concerning growing a moustache.

You can do Christmas shopping

for 25 relatives

on December 24

in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.