Ernie Els Knows Golf and More

Strippers Pole Dancers and Golf

2009/5/16

The Blonde and the Bull

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@ 06:58 PM (6 months, 10 days ago)

 


Two sisters , one  blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.  Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are  in financial trouble. 

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the  ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own  stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister,  'When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to  drive out after me and haul it home.'   The brunette arrives at the man's ranch with  $600, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it.  The man tells her that he will  sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest  town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.  She walks into the telegraph  office, and says,  'I  want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull  for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and  drive out here so we can haul it home.'

The telegraph operator explains that he'll  be glad to help her, then adds, it will cost 99 cents a  word.  ' Well, after paying for the bull,  the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one  word. 
After a few minutes of thinking, she nods  and says, 'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'  The operator shakes his head. 'How is she  ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your  pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch  if you send her just the word 'comfortable?'


The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde.  The word is big. She'll read it very slowly.... 'com-for-da-bul.

 

2007/10/24

Blonde Phones Mother in the Old Country

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@ 10:41 PM (25 months, 9 days ago)

 

A blonde went into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother overseas.

When the man told her it would cost $300, she exclaimed: "I don't have any money, but I'd do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother."

The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect).  "Anything?" he asked.
 

"Yes, yes, anything" the blonde promised.

Well, then, "Just follow me" said the man as he walked towards the next room. The blonde did as she was told and followed the man.

"Come in and close the door" the man said.

She did. 

He then said "Now get on your knees."
She did.

"Now take down my zipper."

She did. 

"Now go ahead ... take it out....." he said.

She reached in and grabbed it with both hands, then paused.  The man closed his eyes and whispered ..."Well ... go ahead." 

The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it and while holding it close to her lips, said ....
"Hello. Mom, can you hear me?"  


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